our 1st date

Me: "D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?"

Him: "Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?"

Me: "D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?"

Him: "Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?"

Me: "D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?"

Him: "I... I can't compete with that! Ok, change the plot. Do you have a soulmate?"

Me: "Define that."

Him: "Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you."

Me: "Sure, I got plenty."

Him: "Well, name them."

Me: "Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner..."

Him: "Well that's great. They're all dead"

Me: "Not to me, they're not."

Him: "You can't have a lot of dialogue with them."

Me: "Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts"