a pretty wake up call

Who told you love is the Alpha and Omega? And that your heart will lead you to the only one? It’s a curse, it’s the hammer that will break you, it’s a poison hidden in a bonbon. Don’t you know love is stronger than Jesus? Don’t you know love can kill anyone? Bring it on; wars and diseases, but you know that love can do you like a shotgun.

Can’t resist them, the sailors and the soldiers, taking aim, a rabbit on a rifle range. Pay no mind to what your mama told you, you’re the fool who’s chasing down the candy cane. It’s a riddle how lovers can stay alive, but we bloom and breathe in all decline.

See the people heading for disaster, standing in line just looking for a little fun. Love is a fire, a hot hot blaster with a vengeance burning in the Congo sun. Somehow we’ll believe there’s trust in strangers, so any monkey could look like a savior. It’s a riddle how we’re still living now. Oh, how little we know, oh...


ps: How to stop loving someone who had been a part of your life for more than 3 years? I really don't know. even when you tried to hate them, it really doesn't help much. Just wait for THE WAKE UP CALL. This morning i had mine. I just woke up and when i looked at myself in the mirror, i began to realized "hey, i feel flat." Just like exactly when i first said to myself "i think i love him." The day when you realized that you love someone is just a surprise. And the same thing goes for the death of it. When that happened, it means you're a free person. No more memories. No more waiting, no more crying and those drama yadda yadda yadda bla bla...
Life's good, darling. It knew exactly when you need to start and to stop everything at some point :)

me: how can i even love you, you're my best friend!!

him: i'm gonna choose you 'cause you have no choice

me: you know i love my ex. you know better!!

him: tell me, did he ever really love you? did he ever shut his goddamn mouth just to say good things to you? give me one good reason that can prove he once loved you!

me: .......................well, no......i don't have one...

him: i'm gonna watch you while you get me wrong,
i'm gonna sing until you hate this song

me: you'll regret this!

him: i'm gonna kiss the parts that you have lost
It's gonna cost you but you might hurt less

me: ..........................

him: you don't have to save his life anymore.
i'm here to help you to save your own life!
he don't love you like i love you!

me: you're fuckin' mad!

him: Who told you "love is the Alpha and Omega" ? i love you BETTER!!!

ghosts of corporate future, it's raining and we have no umbrella

pagi ini kami minum kopi dan makan sambil ribut-ribut selama 17 menit. saya rewel mengeluh soal pancake buatan lennon yang rasanya seperti kentang goreng, dia bilang i'm being delusional. (ternyata dia pakai minyak goreng bekas goreng kentang untuk manasin si pancake, aha...another reason to say "fuck you" lenn!).
begitu semua manipulasi masaknya tertangkap basah, saya langsung nyanyi-nyanyi:

"i am a vampire, i am a vampire, i am a vampire and i have lost my fangs and now i work in some porn video rental store, lalalala...."

backpacking berdua memang tidak ada duanya. tadi pagi kami ke daerah perbukitan lembang. kemarin ke pantai batu karas. when did exactly God invented those beautiful places?

by the way, he always looks good in our camera haha. kami bawa lebih dari 5 macam kamera kali ini. dari lomo sampai digital juga analog. sebagian hasil pinjaman, sebagian koleksi saya dan lennon.

kembang-kembangnya kota kembang

setiap kota, punya candunya. setiap perjalanan, punya kerangka tempuhnya. membosankan atau tidak, kita biasanya girang saat sudah sampai di kota tersebut.

bandung, buat saya lebih dari sekedar candu. bandung seperti film doraemon saat usia saya baru 7. bandung seperti Kurt Cobain saat usia saya 11. dan bandung seperti kue kering natal sejak saya kecil hingga saya setua ini, rasanya begitu-begitu saja tapi selalu dicari. bandung seperti permen, coklat dan es krim rasa kopi. perjalanan yang harus ditempuh membuat saya makin tidak karuan jika tidak pergi ke kota itu dalam sebulan saja. padahal bandung sekarang sudah macet, sudah kurang sejuk, sudah hampir metropolitan seperti ibukota tempat saya lahir. tapi bandung, sekali lagi tetap kekasih saya yang paling saya puja. tidak pernah sia-sia dia membuat saya birahi dengan "oohh ahhh" setiap saya pergi ke sana, makanannya, minumannya, tempat-tempat makanannya, trotoarnya dengan senti-senti yang begitu lebar hingga saya bisa jalan kaki sambil dansa, harga makanannya, harga biaya hidupnya, hahaha segalanya!

cipularang yang modern memang menggantikan perjalanan 4 jam yang dahulu. dan cipularang lewat lensa kamera saya terlihat begitu genit. menggoda. menggairahkan. apalagi jika sepanjang jalannya mendengarkan Ray Charles, minum kopi serta mengunyah kue kering keju...

ya Tuhan, saya adalah orang paling bahagia di seluruh dunia. persetan dengan apa kata orang lain tentang saya, haha.